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Originally Posted by Karit
To be clear, I've never done anything in real life to be with a under aged girl. Sometimes I'll look at a cute girl the wrong way in public. But I try to get a grip on reality and stop myself before being noticed.
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When you say underage what do you mean?
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What I struggle to keep under control is looking at young girls wearing bikinis and/or skimpy outfits that show off a little too much. Especially searching for pictures on sites that I won't mention here. It's something I'm not proud of and wish I could just stop doing it.
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When you say searching for pictures do you mean the "barely legal" type or worse?
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Even if it is just a fantasy or an escape to just look at them, I know it not a healthy way to think or behave. I haven't been able to determine if I'm actually a pedophile, but I seem to be leaning in that direction.
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I am going to try and be delicate here... wondering if you are a pedophile is of great concern to me. It is of concern because your preoccupation with how they look and seeking out pictures and stuff bordered on child porn. Even if they are teenagers its still something to get help for. Do you ever feel you have urges that are getting harder and harder to control? Its important to admit you have a problem but you cant dismiss the issue simply because you admitted you have a problem.
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I'm also afraid to open up to my therapist about this issue. I'm concerned there could be an overreaction that could make matters worse. That's why I've come here to seek advise hoping for some level of anonymity.
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I understand but "secrets keep us sick". If you are truly interested in getting over this issue you have to be honest and willing to work on it.Otherwise it will just fester like a wound until it becomes a struggle to not act on it.
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So, is there a way to change my thinking? Can I actually get better and have some control over my urges? I hope so. Thanks for reading this far and also for any help that can be offered.
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If you are willing to be honest and willing to change I suppose you could get over this. My concern though is that you are disconnected to the criminal aspect of this. Some people rationalize these types of things because the people they are attracted to are "nearly of age" or old enough to look mature..but the fact is they are not. Stuff like this isnt a victimless crime and even if you are only viewing pictures and stuff-its kind of like participating in violating the girls in those pictures and videos. I do not mean to be harsh...