I feel like I never do anything right. He is the best and sweetest and smartest man I have ever had the pleasure of being with, and I have been with him for almost a year and a half, and I am so in love with him, but there is a big age gap (I am a lot younger than him), and I think there's a maturity gap that goes along with that, and even though I know he doesn't see it, I think I'm not good enough for him. I'm 20 and I don't really know how to do life or serious relationships yet...he's a very hard-working and intelligent 36 year old, and I think it's easy for me to feel inferior or like I am not doing enough.
Here is a list of things:
- he is often the one to regulate my emotions instead of me dealing with them on my own
- he spends money on me which he needs for him and his children
- I don't really get him 'real' gifts or know what to get him
- I wake him up all the time with my insomnia and he really needs his sleep because he gets up really early for work
- I make him feel bad about his sense of humor, which is sometimes making fun of me in a cute way, because I'm too sensitive
- I get more upset about his divorce ******** that he does, and I think that probably makes it harder for him to deal with, definitely not easier
- I can't take constructive criticism because I always think I've done something terrible that can't be forgiven
- I'm pretty sure I threw or gave away the feather he gave me for our six months, which was important to him, and I completely forgot that it was from him (what kind of person does that?)
- I don't really do what he asks, I always forget--I forget everything
- I literally don't even know how to clean or put things away, they'll just end up in new arbitrary places
- he always cooks for me, I'm not very good at it, and I think he should be able to relax when he gets home from work
- I am not very fun to be around
- I am not very smart; I don't really know what to do about anything ever. And I always make these really dumb mistakes that seems small and insignificant but are obvious to other people and I don't know how I miss those things or what to do about it.

I just think maybe I'm making his life worse more than better, even though he really loves me. I don't know what to do about that. Does anyone have any suggestions as far as changing these things about myself? I don't want to be like this. I want to be a better and more capable person.