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Originally Posted by marie4567
Here is a list of things:
- he is often the one to regulate my emotions instead of me dealing with them on my own
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How does he do this?
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- he spends money on me which he needs for him and his children
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Are his children neglected? Does he neglect himself?
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- I don't really get him 'real' gifts or know what to get him
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Gifts are material, love is what counts.
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- I wake him up all the time with my insomnia and he really needs his sleep because he gets up really early for work
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Do wake him up because you cant sleep? Or do you get up and go about your business?
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- I make him feel bad about his sense of humor, which is sometimes making fun of me in a cute way, because I'm too sensitive
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What is too sensitive? I do not think making fun of someone is funny-ever.
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- I get more upset about his divorce ******** that he does, and I think that probably makes it harder for him to deal with, definitely not easier
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The divorce will always be there. What are you upset about?
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- I can't take constructive criticism because I always think I've done something terrible that can't be forgiven
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What does he "constructively" criticize you about? Do you welcome criticism? Is it really his job to critique you? Are you supposed to take his critical review and change?
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- I'm pretty sure I threw or gave away the feather he gave me for our six months, which was important to him, and I completely forgot that it was from him (what kind of person does that?)
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I mean, its a feather. You didnt stomp on it and throw it in the garbage right? I could see myself losing a feather too.
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- I don't really do what he asks, I always forget--I forget everything
- I literally don't even know how to clean or put things away, they'll just end up in new arbitrary places
- he always cooks for me, I'm not very good at it, and I think he should be able to relax when he gets home from work
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Shouldnt you be able to relax? In relationships each person usually does what they are good at. If he is better then you at cooking then it makes sense to have him do it. If you do the cleanup I think its fair.
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- I am not very fun to be around
- I am not very smart; I don't really know what to do about anything ever. And I always make these really dumb mistakes that seems small and insignificant but are obvious to other people and I don't know how I miss those things or what to do about it.
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Nothing gets me fired up as much as something like this. NO you are not dumb. If you were dumb then this post would have been to difficult to write. You probably have great common sense. Someone who is dumb wouldnt think about being dumb. If anything you are saying this because somewhere along the way someone said you were dumb. Theyre wrong.
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I just think maybe I'm making his life worse more than better, even though he really loves me. I don't know what to do about that. Does anyone have any suggestions as far as changing these things about myself? I don't want to be like this. I want to be a better and more capable person.
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Why do you think you are making his life worse? Wouldnt he break up with you if that was the case?