So this was the session that was meant to repair all the bad feeling I'd had. Ii guess t thought I was mad she was off a week and sick. I told her that didnt annoy me but i was relieved i didnt have to face her. She wanted to know more about what had upset me and i explained it a bit. As i thought, t had à reasonable explanation for what she meant. She said she cant always reassure me as shes not always available and that she will try her best. I dont thi k this is what she meant at the time though as I rarely text her for non scheduling and dont email so it's not like I ever ask for reassurance.

I told her I took issue with the idea that she would decide for me what is best for me. She said if she thought it was anxiety speaking then she may not respond. I asked if she genuinely thought that would help and she had no answer.

We discussed ex t 1 for a bit and her cancer diagnosis. It really shouldn't affect me but I do hope she is ok. It seemed a safe topic to discuss.

I told her I knew part of the issue was I hated feeling vulnerable and it was easier being angry so i could avoid feeling this but that i still felt tricked into telling her things. She said that she thought some of the trust was damaged and she hoped we could repair it. She was glad i came (i bet so $$$$)

All in all i still feel very cautious and a bit meh.

Replies ok