This seems to be the best place to post about social skills. Making and keeping friendships is something I've never been much good at.

I have a friend, on Facebook and in real life, that I've mentioned on PC before. She has a tendency to say things that she thinks are helpful and supportive, when in fact they are annoying and possibly invalidating. She isn't being that way on purpose. She simply doesn't understand. For example, I vented on Facebook that I'm having trouble with my current health care plan. It's getting so ridiculously hard to get an appointment, now I have to wait until May for my next therapy session. My friend's immediate comment was that she would be glad to listen to me and give me advice once a month, and she wouldn't even charge me money. Of course, talking to a friend is not at all the same thing as therapy. I wouldn't go to her for mental health therapy, for the same reason I wouldn't go to her to have a tooth fixed. She doesn't have the training. Besides, even qualified health care workers don't practice on their own families and friends. It's unethical.

I have her marked as an acquaintance on Facebook, because of these types of comments, but I forgot to set that post as visible to "friends except acquaintances." My bad.

She kind of reminds me of my brother in that way, with the tendency to read every word I say as a cry for help. I can talk about some "Murphy's Law" kind of glitch in my day. I'm not in any distress at all, just laughing about the irony of this thing that happened, and I'd get some philosophical piece of advice telling me how to fix it or rise above it. I'm not asking for advice, but it's advice I get, usually given in a smug, condescending, "I know better than you do" attitude. That is one of many reasons I'm no longer in contact with my brother. Now this friend is kind of rubbing me the same way. I kind of feel like she's trying to help me across a barrier that I crossed long ago, and I do wonder what it is about me that is sending signals that I haven't crossed it yet.

One thing she seems to be stuck on is the slogan, "I'm not a victim. I'm a survivor." If she's said it to me once, she's said it to me a hundred times in the past month or two. It's her go-to response to everything recovery-related that I post, even things are offering solutions, not asking for them. Sometimes she just says it, unsolicited. Yesterday she tagged me in a meme that had those words in it, and it wasn't in response to anything I had posted. It just came out of nowhere.

On one hand, I feel like if she rams those words down my throat one more time, I'm going to scream so loud they'll hear me on Jupiter. My family thinks I should just tell her to stop saying that to me, but I'm afraid it would hurt her feelings. She really is trying to be helpful. She just doesn't understand that her help isn't needed. I'm fine. I'm NOT asking her for advice.

How do you deal with well-meaning but frustrating people?