I have a few thoughts. First of all, it sounds like you feel stressed out by your therapist's line of questioning. I think it's perfectly reasonable to tell her that you need to slow things down and go at whatever pace makes you feel comfortable. You can also tell her that you're not comfortable answering whatever question she is asking.

Secondly, I think the potential root of anxiety that you describe makes perfect sense. Have you had a chance to share it with your T? A lot of times people can be perfectionists because they want social recognition or support as a way to combat not feeling good enough inside. So I think that part of your past is definitely worth exploring.

By the way, have you ever heard about childhood emotional neglect? I wonder if that concept would resonate. It applies to some loving families where the parents just aren't able to meet their child's emotional needs for whatever reason, and sometimes it can lead to the child being a perfectionist and then developing anxious tendencies when they run up against the fact that perfection isn't possible.