I recently posted about coming out/ thinking I was a lesbian. Well, it's either that or bisexual, and it hasn't changed. I don't feel comfortable with getting involved with a woman, but have sometimes ended up sleeping with a guy when I feel lonely, but I don't even like sex; it's just having a close cuddle and the feeling of being desired I liked. In fact, sex is painful, but once I have cuddled the guy and his hands have wandered which I like too tbh, I know I can't say no (I know some might argue this isn't really sexual consent but I don't want to get into it now, as it is in the past and it was my choice to let him do so).

I will not get into this situation again as it's not fair on the guy and doesn't help me ultimately either. As I have no real desire to be involved with a woman, and get lonely, but just like close cuddles, I know I have to be on my own, but I am afraid of it. How do others deal with these feelings of loneliness? Is there anyone else in a similar situation (not necessarily sexuality wise, just celibate and knowing they have to be on their own but finding it difficult at times)?

I know I've done wrong in the past but I can't change it, am trying to move forward and put it behind me.