Yesterday's session: T came and got me on time at 7 PM. We walked back to her office together. She said again how much she liked my Christmas card. It had an angel and a bird on it, and she put it in her planner so she could look at it all year long. That made me feel good. We talked about my depression and how long this low dip has been. Honestly I don't know, but it has been a while. We talked about my sleeping a lot and not doing things I used to enjoy. She asked me how much I'm sleeping. She said depression does have physical effects but that it can also be an escape so the question is what is so painful that I want to escape so much? IDK. I just do. So we talked about my SH. That made me happy. Then I talked about my skin wanting to be and how it literally hurts. She asked how so? I said it throbs. She said to hold that thought and to follow her fingers while she did some eye movement work. We did this three times. I dissociated for a while. We talked about TV. Movies. Books. Alice in Wonderland. AI. How the world is getting worse with terrorism and such and what happens to our bodies after which is something she's worried about but I'm not. We talked about God talking to me. I'm glad she didn't say it was a hallucination because it was not. She seemed to believe me and affirm that. I dissociated quite a bit for a while. Things got blurry. She asked me how I was doing? I told her I was dissociated. She said let's try to get you back. She said to focus on my breathing and how I felt in the chair. We did the eye movement thing two times and then it was time to leave. The receptionist wasn't there when I got there, nor when I left so I couldn't pay or make another appointment. I'm kind of stressed that I don't have another appointment. I feel heard from my appointment. I'm starting to feel more attached to her. I'm not sure she is helping me or can help me. I'm not sure about the eye movement thing. I will know more in a couple days how I feel about the session. She said I'm wise and I have a quiet strength to do the right thing. She also said life isn't all skittles and fish which I found funny. That's all I can remember right now. I may remember more later. If so I will post it.
Comments welcome.