I am still here, I survived my day, I tried to be the most sincere. It is so dam hard to be sincere about your feelings, the word to discribe it is shame, I don't know how to be truthfull to myself. And when I try the feelings don't come along and the words feel hard to come
But I am trying, being truthfull and to trust without the fear or not being like, being abandoned, not living to the expectations, disapoint someone with a not likable personality.
It is very hard when the anxiety is big, when your mouth feels to dry or with too much saliva. And your feelings just come empty or irritable, with a dose of cinism. It may be a defense mechanism,but it is a stable one hard to beat.