Yeah, I think he would have raped me if I took him anywhere. The way he looked at me. When I told my dad he wanted me to drive him to the lake place, my dad got very mad, because I think he knew his friend, and what a jerk he is. I guess in Vietnam there were a lot of rape victims by this guy, I didn't know.

It makes me think if I could of somehow confide him in what my mom was doing to me and my brother if he would have done something to save us. I wonder if he would have believe me.

Maybe this is why I have been thinking of my wanting my dad, because he did help me once. He may have not been the best of fathers, probably guilty of neglect but he never physically or really emotionally abused me like my mom. Maybe when doing the EMDR, last week, all of sudden I wanted my dad to hold me and it wasn't something he would have normally have done, but maybe I wanted or needed that when I was young and being abused by my mom. But my mom threatened to kill me if I told, I was too scared to tell anyone even my dad.