I am very sorry to hear that I wish I was there to help you or find you some magic solution to this that will make it all go away and you can get back on feet, but I have been there also shutting my self in a closet with my kids knocking asking me to get out, and I could not. I know the feeling and is hard for me to share this, but I am here still trying everyday in an environment which is not my own, in a world ever so divided by so trivial matters and I am hurting, I wonder if I will ever know peace. On a positive note I wanted to recommend you to listen to Louise Hay she is a hero of mine and I listen to her on YouTube and audiobooks, is not only her experiences, faith, but her voice is also soothing, try it a few days and may be it can be one step. Hope that helps, big hugs,kisses.