How do I have hope that anything will change though? This is how it's always been. People I'm close to demand to see me in a certain way and that's the way I must be or I lose all my relationships. I've never really fully gotten the chance to develop an identity. People may scoff and judge me all they like, but the risk of losing all the people important to you in order to even explore who you might be is a ridiculous burden to put on someone.

I'm not sure I even had a personality until last year when I was finally noticed and appreciated for who I am and what skills I have. I'm not sure I can explain this experience because it seems so foreign to everyone else's experiences.