ZZ,

I would generalize - describe what is happening in general terms, to shift the focus away from sex in order to find common themes and patterns.

There is a thing of value here, called FREEDOM. He wants to have it. You want to have it. When you exercise your freedom out in the open, it turns out that he does not like it. So he wants the thing of value, but only for himself. He wants a relationship in which he has something that is highly valuable and you do not a have counterbalancing thing of value; he wants a relationship that is skewed in his favor and that subordinates you. You offered to him (sorry I did not read your other posts, so this is an assumption) a relationship that is mutually monogamous - in other words, a relationship in which both you and he give me FREEDOM, maintaining a balance in the relationship. He did not want this option. To sum up, he does not want a relationship in which both give up FREEDOM and does not want having a relationship in which both exercise FREEDOM - he only wants a relationship that favors him at your expense.

Are you willing to maintain a relationship that favors him at your expense?