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Old Jan 21, 2019, 01:25 AM
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cashart10 cashart10 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer View Post

The very worst of my episodes, usually mixed episodes, have caused me a degree of trauma.

~I completely understand this. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s been years before getting past some episodes
.

All I'll say is that there is a gift and disadvantage of knowing pure elation and a hell in knowing mixed episodes.

~ I once believed God was allowing me to experience Heaven on earth. The elation that accompanies mania is, I believe, higher than any drug. And the dysphoria that accompanies mixed episodes (and depression for me) truly is hell. If I am dysphoric and psychotic, I tend to believe that demons have taken control of my mind and are trying to get me to kill myself.

__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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Anonymous46341
Thanks for this!
~Christina