Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdDancer
The very worst of my episodes, usually mixed episodes, have caused me a degree of trauma.
~I completely understand this. I am not exaggerating when I say it’s been years before getting past some episodes.
All I'll say is that there is a gift and disadvantage of knowing pure elation and a hell in knowing mixed episodes.
~ I once believed God was allowing me to experience Heaven on earth. The elation that accompanies mania is, I believe, higher than any drug. And the dysphoria that accompanies mixed episodes (and depression for me) truly is hell. If I am dysphoric and psychotic, I tend to believe that demons have taken control of my mind and are trying to get me to kill myself.
|
__________________
*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
|