I feel your pain. I thought you were making some progress on your thread about your music. As I said on the other thread, I don’t see you making any progress without describing your situation. Why not sometimes use forums targeted to those with your profile?
In any case, as you see by posting on PCentral, people do like you.
I feel really bad today too. In about 6 hrs, My pen pal then friend is goingback to Iraq to a very dangerous job as a contractor. He is totally messed up w horrible depression from ptsd and cant sleep. It messes up his whole personality and going back will make it worse. You never get rid of ptsd, just learn to control it. I am afraid I have even lost touch w him at this point because I panicked and messaged him when I shouldn’t. He may have even blocked me. If he did I would have to decide whether to approach people he knows to express concern about him. He hides the ptsd from everyone partly for job security but u cant heal from that if you didn’t talk about it.
I am writing this to see if you can pull yrself out of yr tailspin by advising me, which I often do for others. You need to break the chain of ruminating, thinking this way and focus on something else even if its cleaning out a closet.