I can't tell if you're a man or woman from your forum name but you grew up without a dad. Would you want the same for your kids?

I was badly abused for years and made a promise to myself then that the abuse would end here. I would be the one to break the chain and not pass it on to my kids.

I did just that while having bipolar depression.

I'm still depressed so I can relate to how you feel but you have to ask yourself what your contribution to your's and your kids lives will be. You have already come so far and done so much. You have more to say and do.

Be there for yourself and your kids. It'll get better. I sometimes live hour to hour scraping bits of hope together. But I know I'm low right now and it does eventually get better. Just hang on until it starts to improve. And with kids and their eternal optimism and curiosity, they'll help you in their own way.

You got this.