I really struggle with this question too. I was raised in a religious family, my Dad was a minister, which kind of turned me off of organized religion because I saw all of the church politics and hypocracy. Then when my Mom died when I was 13 I was really angry at God for taking her from me. But I guess I never stopped believing in God I just deliberately turned away from religion for a very long time. I'm still not ready to embrace any kind of organized religion, but I am trying to get in touch spiritually with God again. When I was little my Mom would say that the wind in the trees was God talking, and to this day I feel most connected to God when I'm in nature. I guess I just have trouble believing that God would care about someone as messed up as me. I've really managed to screw up my life through addiction, on top of my mental health issues, but then at other times I think that a higher power must have been looking out for me, becuase there are so many times I've done stupid and dangerous things while drunk that in many ways it's a miracle that I'm still alive. Now that I'm trying to get my life back together, I'm trying to learn how to pray again, but I've got a long way to go before I'll really believe that God really cares about me.

--splitimage