Can’t do anything to change the home situation, we already have separate bedrooms due to my chronic sleep issues. Apparently what he was thinking was that I no longer loved him or wanted him around, that I’d go to my parents and decide not to come back. I had considered leaving, but never said so because it wasn’t a plan, just a thought. I could not support myself as I can’t work full time. He says even if I leave he doesn’t want a divorce so that I still have health insurance. After 19 years I guess couples therapy is worth a shot. It was just really crappy timing.