Cottoncandylocks,

I hope you don't mind me jumping in here. I'm new to this, but I've experienced quite a bit with bipolar disorder. My exspouse is bipolar (untreated, well treated only with antidepressants) and his life is in chaos. Three of my five children have bipolar traits, two are medically compliant and no longer live with constant chaos.

Of the two that are medically compliant, they are both minors so I still have a hand involved in whether they stay on their meds or not, but it's taken a long time to get to where their med "cocktails" are effective. It takes patience as each person is so very different chemically. These two boys are so alike in many ways, but chemically and diagnosis wise... they are myriads apart.

My point is, you are special, dear girl. Every bipolar person I know has several associated other struggles ("diagnoses") they deal with at the same time. They are also some of the most brilliant and caring people I know. My 16 year old is on an antipsychotic, mood stabilizers, lithium (which can actually reverse brain destruction caused by bp), a tiny dose of antidepressant for sleep purposes, adhd med, melatonin for seasonal affective disorder, etc. He occasionally has psychotic episodes, depressed periods or manic episodes where he is so funny and creative that he is amazingly productive and none of us can keep up with him. The point is, he is medically compliant but still has struggles.

He has learned to be patient with himself... well, he's 16... he's learning to be patient with himself! It is when he's not patient with himself that he dives into depression and his eating disorders get stronger and the darkness envelops him.

You're worth the effort sweet girl. YOU are not your diagnoses. They are merely challenges that you've been allowed to grow from. I tell my sons and daughter all the time that their "higher power" must have great confidence in them to allow them to experience the challenges they've been given.

It is frustrating to them as it is to you, but you can handle it. You are a tremendous individual of great worth. Keep asking questions. Keep searching for information. Keep learning about the details of these different diagnoses you're given then you can separate them from you personally and see that they are physical experiences and chemical responses, not the core of who you are.

Take care~ You're on the right track.