I'm just trying to process everything. I 'lost time' for the first time ever today, during a session with my t. I am used to dissociating, but nothing like this has ever happened before. It was really scary. The session started, I felt myself kinda dissociating as we got into it, then next thing I knew she was finishing it. I knew straight away what had happened (why the session seemed to have ended so quickly) and because I had intended on talking to her today about the fact that I have been dissociating when I am seeing her it seemed particularly appropriate to mention all this today. She was really pleased that I told her. She also said that we had made significant progress today and asked me to come back next week (instead of in 2 weeks) as she feels like things are gaining momentum. I have always held back so much when I see her, not because I don't trust her but because that is what I have always done- kept everything to myself. I think that she is very aware that I dissociate, although we have never discussed it (apart from when we have talked about my SI and the fact that I do that when I dissociate) because recently she has been asking me to focus on the 'here and now' and what I will be doing when I leave her office, and she gives me a bit of time to refocus. I guess that the bit that I don't understand is what was happening WHLE I dissociated. I really do not understand DID and the other dissociative disorders; I just understand that normally when I dissocaite I 'zone out' for a while. Today though I was aware of everything I was saying although I said more today than I normally ever do in a session, I was more open than I normally ever am, and I am confused that I am aware of everything even though I 'lost' that time- even though I kinda know what went on in the session it really felt like it was 'another me' there. I am seeing my nurse next week so I will be talking to her then about this. I'm sorry if I have been rambling on heaps,like I said I am just trying to process all of this as it is so new to me, and scary, and really REALLY confusing. (I don't know if this is relevant or had anything to do with it, but I had had a (medical) docs appt this morning and was feeling a little stressed by that...so anxiety levels were higher to begin with)...