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Originally Posted by qwerty68
I think I am very fair to myself. One thing that annoys her badly enough that she brings it up is how I care what other people think of me and I should not and just do what makes me happy.
She flat-out told me she doesn't care that I am not movie star good-looking and she thinks I am handsome, which is funny to me. My age seems to be a major plus for her which is strange to me. But, she says Russian guys are ugly so I guess the bar is low.
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Arent you bothered by this? It just seems so backhanded. I would not feel good if someone thought that even though I was not movie star good looking, they still thought I was attractive. Why not just stick with "I think you are attractive"? Why tell you that Russian guys are ugly?
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I don't know if marriage is a possibility. She wants to meet and see if we get along as well as we do right now but in person. The way the immigration system is setup, it is very difficult to have a normal progression in the relationship unless at least one of them is rich. Still, divorce rates among couples where one came from another country is significantly lower than among American citizens, even after the spouse that moved here gained citizenship.
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Ok full stop. I have heard and know of at least one person who married their Russian lover/girlfriend. She came to the US on some kind of visa and got her green card. She managed to have the guy change all his finances to benefit her and disappeared. All I am saying is she might be a good liar.
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It is certainly a complicated situation and I am being careful. I think I might be too careful, especially since she pulled back and has come back. I have been walking on eggshells unless she brings up certain topics. My MH, especially my paranoia is making things difficult on me and therefore on her. I don't explicitly leak out specific things I am thinking but it affects my conversation with her and certainly my demeanor. It is wrecking my sleep which makes everything in my head much worse.
Maybe I am too mentally ill for any type of relationship?
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No, I do not think you are too mentally ill but I think you are being taken in by a very sophisticated scam artist.