Thanks all for the advice. I understand the biology behind depression, and have been trying hard to stop blaming myself and feeling like I am a disappointment to others and myself. My logical side knows that that is the rational thing to do. My emotional side doesn't seem to be able to move past the almost paralyzing self-doubt, impatience (with myself) and anger (at myself). But, I continue to work on stifling the negative sel-talk and changing the tapes.

I have tried therapy a couple of times, and have started working on the David Burns Feeling Good workbook. It is so difficult for me to be open about my feelings that therapy really was nothing more than an expensive gab session. I thought that it would be easier to open up with a therapist, but it hasn't been that way for me. I know a lot of it is because of the way I was raised. I was raised to believe that any problems I had or any saddness, fear, anxiety, etc. I was experiencing were trivial and insignificant. So, I learned from an early age to keep things to myself so as not to anger or upset anyone. So, I am trying to learn to be more open.

Thanks for listening.