I might have too much of me invested, I have been thinking of that the past few weeks. It is why I am wondering if my head is too ill for relationships of any kind. I don't really have anything to lose either. I either end up alone, which I have been for a very long time, or I don't.

So I am either left where I started or I am better off. It honestly feels like this might be my last chance since I am getting old. Isn't it worth the risk? She could live next door and just as easily be a scammer.

It didn't feel backhanded or insulting and she isn't the first woman to say that I am not super awesome looking but handsome. I figured they were just trying to be polite. They were trying to say "Ya you are really nasty looking but I like you anyway", or something to that effect.

The only thing preventing me from having a real relationship is the fact I am very ugly and awful. I will admit it is suspicious that she even talks to me. In person, the only women that will talk to me are those where a relationship is impossible due to their being married or large age difference. A single woman in my dating age range will not talk to me at all.

I try to treat everyone with respect and kindness but that is certainly not enough to have friends or anything more. It must be because I am a terrible person and very ugly.