Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2
18 years of being on guard.... scared of the next moment, secrecy was tantamount...it was like living in a bomb zone and was shell shocked well into the years.
I’ve posted much about this.... and yet still it doesn’t seem like it was all that bad.
I can’t help to feel that I’m making a mountain out of mole hill...as usual. I hate seeing the doctors because they look at me like it isn’t that bad...so I basically never go to the doctors...and when I finally do...then the same.
So, just time to shut up and sign off to quit putting my foot in it as par. Life just doesn’t make sense.
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Maybe the evidence of "how bad it was" can be found in the legacy it left behind. From all the things you have you have written you have that evidence running throughout every single aspect of your life. When I question the same thing my t tells me "Amy, THIS is trauma. What is happening right here, right now, in this room and in your life, is trauma. THIS is what trauma does."
THIS is how bad it was, AC. Maybe its not so much making a mountain out of a molehill as the struggle to make sense/a life/normality out of chronic and unrelenting trauma.