My mom wants me to get a girlfriend so she can take care of me and I take care of her etc and that sounds sweet and all but I said that it's stupid. She said "lol why?" and I said maybe in the future but not now.

I should tell her I'm bi but there's no pressure to come out of the closet when you're bi especially since I don't want sex with anyone so I'm pretty asexual. Someone has to be completely extraordinary for me to like them in that way. The chances of finding someone like that are slim. Too high expectation.

Also asexual because of the meds and I like it this way. The old man in the hospital creeped me out beyond trauma cuz if people feel they need to get close to me in order to have sex and then feel guilty about it and cry and jerk off then I think it's some sort of shallow drug without meaning.

Sex is just a race to the bottom of the brain stem. But I'm happy that people have sex because what would be the point for people to go out drinking? To talk about the universe? No..

Life is this, we procreate and then die. That's all it is.