Hello Kiwi: From what you wrote, it sounds as though you are feeling almost completely defeated. I'm glad you at least have your dog. Pets can be such a comfort. I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I typically provide new members with links to articles, from Psych Central's archives, that offer suggestions for dealing with whatever mental health issues are of concern to them. However it sounds as though that is likely not something you would want. So I won't go there. I would, however, like to just mention this other Psych Central sponsored website for persons with unrelenting depression & anxiety:

Project Hope & Beyond

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.