If you dont mind I wanted to try and address multiple points ..

If she is not your boss how about saying.." thanks for your suggestion. I think I will run it by____(Mr bossman) and see what he wants me to do"

There will always be office gossip. As long as you do not feed into it or even address it she will (hopefully) learn that you dont care about what isnt true.

Who is doing the criticizing? Your boss? If so, if she attempts to try and justify I would say" You will have to take it up with___(whoever criticized her) because it doesnt involve me.

Personally I would nip that in the bud by sharing something like.." I do not like to talk about people when they are not here. How about I go get (whomever) so you can discuss this with them?"


To be honest..we teach people how to treat us. If we allow unwanted things to be said or happen and not address it then it will not stop. It is especially helpful to not engage in anything critical or otherwise with her. Let the boss do that.

How do you know they think this? Has anyone said or asked you about it? If it were to come up it may be helpful to say" Thanks for your offer to help but Mr Bossman asked me to do it and I would like to follow protocol. If she goes behind your back to do it or attempts to do it anyway then address the person or people that asked you to do something " i know you asked me to do XXX but Mrs pain-in the-*** decided to do it so if there are any questions I suggest you ask her".

This is workplace bullying. Personally I would consider taking it to human resources but before you do I recommend you talk to your immediate boss and say something like " You have told me about past issues with Ms pain-in the-*** but I would like to formally address the workplace bullying with HR. Unless you have any suggestions on how we can handle it?"


I do not think it is anything to tie to mental health issues. Sure, she may sound like someone with Narcissistic issues, but I think its almost doing a disservice to anyone with a mental illness by trying to tie her bad behavior to a mental illness. Its almost like people wondering if someone is bipolar just because they are moody. Some people are just jerks and it doesnt need to be tied to a mental illness. Unless being an asshole is a mental health condition that I was unaware of. Straight up this is workplace bullying, a hostile and toxic work environment and you shouldnt have to deal with this. She shouldnt be allowed to get a way with it but if you do not pursue the proper avenues to address it formally- well she will just keep doing it unchecked.

Bullies are very good at making you question yourself and causing you to get all critical of yourself. That is not an environment conducive to working and it can mess with your chi. i have found that the easiest way to take the wind out of a bully's sail (other than formally addressing it) Is to state and repeat if necessary, what the real facts are. And only do it when you absolutely must. Engaging with a bully makes them want to bully more. her words and actions only affect you if you let them.