thank you for the virtual pat on the back. i wasn't expecting to get replies this fast, and i really appreciate the replies. i have been married for 3 years now, i have one kid, and am currently living away from my husband who's in the states (i'm in the philippines). i am not sure if i'm in an abusive relationship, although from the test that i took on here, i seems that i am in one. i am constantly reminded by my husband that he's been through a lot for me and that i haven't shown gratitude and appreciation for that, we argue over mostly everything, and everyday, i try not to say something that will cause him to blow up since he just "came home from work, and tired and i don't even care about that" . it's little things that makes me feel that i'm losing something of me everyday.