@Rose
Thank you for the time you spent for answer to my question.
I don’t think my life has to be simple, comfortable, easy. My life is not and was not. I’ve always been the maximum I could, nobody gave me anything for free. I understand than nothing is due to me, but this doesn’t mean I easily accept what I passed through.
I have not pink lenses, I had not. It’s hard to accept that a person doesn’t want to see me anymore, talk me anymore, that I’m “the enemy”, that I could die without a tear spent, after so many years. These are things that can make a person mad, but I’m always here, I’m working at the best of my skills, never complaining, never bothering anyone.
I cannot find a new way, ‘cause I feel and I’m alone.
And I wonder if I can change something, I try every day, but I’m not succeeding in that. I don’t know how to do, I know perfectly that I cannot relay on others. But how much am I able to do everything alone?
Will I pass every moment of my life alone?
Friends have their own life’s to carry on, we are different, they don’t care of being alone, sometimes they prefere to stay alone, just to remark that they don’t need anything. But then they bother me with every sort of stupid problems, as not to date anymore the guy they had a bed liaison. Maybe wise people are already in a relationship, so only this ones are free to do, sometimes, something together. And I pay attention not to talk about my feelings, there is no compassion in their minds.
I don’t want to stay in my sufferance, I don’t like it. Maybe I need only someone telling me that everything will go in the right way, not to lose my hope.
As I help everyone in my life, daily, I would like do listen that there are good people, and someone will help me. Anything more.