I'm so sorry, Sunshinesworld It must be really hard to deal with. Please don't give up. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. Are your meds helping? If not, perhaps you could ask for a change of meds. Hopefully you'll be able to find the right meds combination for you. I hope things will get better for you soon. It's clear that you're trying your best to cope. Be proud of yourself for that. I'm also sorry to hear about your cat. It's not surprising that you'd be worried about him. Try to hang on. You can do this! Like raging vortex has said, you're strong, I'm sure of that. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you