oh now even if he wanted to he has no chance of hitting me as we're miles and miles apart; but he has hit me ONCE. he does yell a lot (we talk online, as that's all that's available to us now) and he does call me names----being brought up in a conservative culture, i am not used be being called names (stupid, dumb****, %#@&#!) and we were reprimanded for that if we ever made that mistake when we were kids--and told him that and has asked him to please try not to do that; his excuse is that that's just the way he is; that's the way he grew up, and if i loved him i won't try to change him and just accept him for what he and who he is.