I hate that. I hate when you have such an amazing session that you begin to compare it to all other sessions. Obviously my last session was the most amazing, connected session ever. I have been able to keep him with me since Saturday (I know it's only Tuesday, but this is big for me) and feel the entire time as though he is my therapist, there for me, in my life. Maybe I have never felt like that before so that's why I have always been inclined tom compare sessions and get upset that a particular sessino was not "as good" as a previous one.

There is so much I want to tell him today. Most of all, I want to find out why he took my hand at that moment. What was he feeling? How did he think it would be beneficial? I want to process with him what it felt like for me. Saturday was based mostly on the experience. Today I would like to process it.

And I want him to hold my hand again.

I hate that I hate that I hate that I hate that.

See? I know that I cannot expect that to happen each and every time.

I love him. And I told him. Whoa.