I called and got an appointment (he had one open today, lucky me) so I plan on telling him about this. I think it has some big connections to something to me in how i see the world now, but I wonder if it says anything about what happened to me in the past.

All I know is I wanted my dad, such a primal need, he helped me before, and I just wished I could have told him about my mom. But what if he didn't believe me?

I used to hate it when my mom set up my brother, got him all upset to a point where he would yell at her. Then she would tell my dad, and my dad is from the old school where you don't disrespect your parents, and then he spanked/whipped him. But it was because of her, pushing his buttons. He had learning disabilities (because of her abuse) and he couldn't read or write very well. He would get mad and want to leave, then she said, where are you going to go? You can't get a job, you can't read, or have graduated high school. She pulled him out after 8th grade, all because I believe that the teachers were on to her abusing him.
Now he died in Nov. from complications from his child abuse that happened many years ago. He was only 36, and my only sibling, my dad died from colon cancer in 1999. I feel so alone now except my mom is still alive and that will torment me until she is dead some day. Then I can breathe again. My T says she has anti social disorder or a psychopath it was called before. She is brutal. My old T called her one scary *****. It is fair she is allowed to live while my brother died because of her, and I in therapy is seems forever to help heal the pain she caused from her torture while being scared out of my mind she might show up at my door or abduct my kids like she has threatened. All because I don't spank them, so I spoil them according to her. It just isn't fair. Sorry for all my rambling.