You don't sound dumb Kismetie. Yes, you have been emotionally and physically abused. I don't know whether there's much of a distinction between physical assault and abuse. They are both wrong and damaging whether once or hundreds of times. She essentially waterboarded you Kismetie. That's a form of torture. These are criminal acts that you have experienced. In thinking it through, ask yourself if you saw a stranger waterboarding their child (of any age) would you call it abuse/assault? I think you probably would.

Yes, you are right to be concerned about future abuse from her. How old are you? Do you still live with your mother? Please call the police immediately if an episode like this happens again. Have you ever consulted with a local doctor or psychologist? I think you would benefit from professional support. There are organizations who help adults living with violent family members. Are you open to talking to someone safe in your area?

I am so sorry you experienced all of those abuses. It was not your fault. You deserved and deserve peace, unconditional love, and safety. Please seek professional help

(Please add the red trigger icon to your post.)