I was adopted right after my birth. My adoptive mother hated me and wished she hadn't taken me... I think I have BPD, but I'm not sure, I haven't been diagnosed. My T doesn't believe that knowing the diagnosis would help me.
I have found my birth mother... trying to build a relationship with her and re-experiencing all those abandonment issues in therapy was excruciating... I think I once died mentally when my T went away for a vacation. I’m better now, but still try “to avoid real or perceived abandonment.”
Sorry for mistakes.