At 8.45 am this morning (Thursday) I sent a text to my T.

I saw him yesterday and alluded to my lack of trust in the mental health system and that there is a conspiracy for clinicians to keep me unwell. I held back the strength of my feelings as I just wanted to gauge his response. I have seen him for eight years so had developed a deep trust. I thought I was clear headed but he said I was hypomanic and indirectly said I was paranoid.

Anyway this morning I woke early after little sleep and immediately continued obsessing over this. I feel I can no longer trust my T as he is part of the system that is trapping me. So I send a text to my T to that effect and said I can’t see him next week as I am too scared. He never got back to me. WTF!

Today has been a day of deep obsession, euphoria, playfulness, energy, racing thoughts, and panic. I am on my own now. I must heal myself. I cannot trust anyone else. I have a long history of being badly mistreated by those in authority ‘trying’ to help me. I have only be harmed more.