Hi there and thank you! Right now my best coping strategy is being active. I find when I'm outside (hiking, riding my horses, etc.) my symptoms are alleviated. Of course, in the winter, that becomes a bit difficult so I have been trying meditation. I'll admit, I'm not quite patient enough for this, but I am giving it a go.

I've been accused of 'acting bipolar' many times in my life, so on one hand, I feel some guilt at not pushing for more answers earlier on. I know that this dx has definitely impacted my personal relationships negatively (specifically the manic episodes).

On the other hand, having this dx is validating. The depression was obvious, and is really the only thing I've treated. But no one ever identified those moments of mania. I become incredibly focused and obsessed with tasks, which I think has always been interpreted as just a go-getter. But I went about things with unnecessary risk or blindly pushing through something or being incredibly aggressive about doing something *now*. Looking back, and using a DBT workbook, I have been able to really see how those behaviors that were heralded as 'highly motivated' were actually quite destructive on a personal level and behind the scenes.