Hello peerue: Thank you for sharing your concern here on PC. I see this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

Realistically I'm probably not the best member, here on PC, to be advising you with regard to your concern. Hopefully there will be other members who will have advice they can share. Off the cuff, so to speak, my thinking on this would be to allow your daughter to have, & take with her, anything you have provided her with up to now. It's hers, you gave it to her & it belongs to her now.

At the same time, I would think it would make sense not to continue to pay for any ongoing expenses related to such things as her car, her phone, etc. She'll either have to figure out a way to cover those ongoing expenses herself, give the items back to you voluntarily, or perhaps sell them if she must. Your daughter is 20 years old. She's an adult & she's essentially going out on her own. She has to accept, & deal with, the realities of her move from this point on it seems to me.

You mentioned the difficulty you're having dealing with your anger over this situation. Here again, hopefully there will be other members who will have perhaps some personal experiences they can share. My perspective is that what is important here is to strive to remian as objective as possible while acknowledging your hurt feelings & allowing them to simply be there... because they already are.

Here are links to 8 articles, from Psych Central's archives, 3 that offer suggestions for managing anger, 4 on the subject of handling painful emotions, plus an article on improving mother / daughter relationships:

Anger Management

Take Control of Your Anger

How to Express Your Anger Effectively

How to Listen to Your Emotions

How to Sit with Painful Emotions

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/culti...nful-emotions/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-step...nful-emotions/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-insi...relationships/

My best wishes to you & your family.