My bipolar was missed for years because I usually had severe dysphoric mania instead of the classic euphoria. However, when I had the euphoria I, and everyone else, thought it was just my upbeat personality and a bit of craziness. Also I had self-destructive behaviour like you and people just blamed me for a lack of responsibility and will power. I too felt relieved when diagnosed, although I am confused about it now.

Welcome. Feel free to post if you need or want to.