I deeply miss my mother and youngest nephew, both of whom my family lost prematurely. I've reached acceptance of these losses, but it still makes me sad. It took years for me to even be able to look at my mother's picture and smile and remember good times. In the beginning, I could only feel pain. I think about both these loved ones every day and that helps. I also miss my paternal grandfather a lot, even though we lost him over 38 years ago. He was very special to me. He was the first loved one I ever lost in my life. That marked a slight end to my childhood idealism.

Are your depressions and/hypo(manic) episodes shorter than before bipolar meds?