I am really tired of me.

I am a horrible hideous thing, I doubt I am even human most days. I have no purpose, no reason to be. But I still wish I could be worth something.

I can't get help at the VA, all they want to do is give me drugs that have caused many issues, ranging from annoying to serious over the past 2 decades. I somehow qualify for medicaid but no one seems to take it around here, at least the few places that will actually respond don't. I tried the "Betterhelp" advertised here and I could afford 1-2 sessions a week but they said I am too screwed up for them.

I don't really have anyone to talk to, at least not in person. I can't even go out without getting laughter or dirty looks. I don't bother anyone so I am not sure why they even notice my worthless and ugly self.