Ok. It is 5 pm Friday. I texted my T at 8.45 am yesterday. No response. It is a long weekend so he won't contact me until at least Tuesday. How could he do this to me? It only confirms my fears that he is manipulating me, and controlling me. I bet he is waiting to see if I desperately text him again to prove some kind of diagnostic point. Well, I won't. I can't.

So I tell him I don't trust him and don't think I can make our appointment next week because I am so scared. Silence. What does that even mean? He had helped me so much over the years. My trust was solid. Now I see I have to break away. It seems he has been controlling me like all the others in the past who I sought help from, trusted, and ended upping abused by. I am not exaggerating. This is what I have been through all my life.

I feel intense rage and emancipation. Only I can save myself now, and I am running out of time.