I'm so sorry you're struggling, Madelaina From what you wrote, it sounds like you're doing everything you can to get better. And that's great! I know things seem pretty bad right now, but trust me when I say that things can and will get better. Just take it one step at the time. Try to be patient. Depression is not easy. Try to hang on. Take baby steps. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'd suggest to try to find some distractions. What do you like to do in your free time? I also agree with sarahsweets that crying is a good thing. Let it all out! I'm sure you'll feel better after it. Do you have any friends or family members that could support you at the moment? o you have any kind of support system IRL? Remember that we're here for you as well! Keep writing here if it helps. If it can help a bit... I'm here for you. I'll listen to what you have to say. I care about you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this