I have seen this technique work wonders for many folks in recovery from substance addictions. I have also seen this work for those in recovery from other issues that they are working on. The core of the exercise revolves around the idea of "owning your recovery" and "creating a custom recovery program".
For almost a decade, I attempted to stop using drugs and alcohol. I tried various recovery programs (AA,NA, SMART), I went to rehab twice, tried to quit cold turkey, tried replacing one thing for another, getting a sponsor, going down various spiritual paths... Most of these approaches had elements that were effective and worked pretty well, but for me, each program had gaps that I would exploit and that would lead me back to the drugs and alcohol.
Now, I understand that I have not earned a significant amount of clean time, so take my advice with a grain of salt. However, My program this time feels much different then than my past attempts. Here's why...
I have taken suggestions and elements from each of the programs listed above and combined them to make my own custom recovery program that
works for me. The most important elements of my custom recovery program are listed below...
- Community - I still will attend various recovery meetings. I choose which meeting to go to by the content and quality of the discussion group. I do not limit myself by picking one organization. This allows me to feel at home with certain groups/ meeting without limiting myself to committing to only one 12-Step program.
- Medication/ Mental Health - Most hard-line recovery groups will claim that "you aren't clean if you are on ANY medications- no matter what". I disagree with this entirely and leave that poorly constructed advice far behind me. I believe it is debilitating and does nothing to help with someones recovery, especially those who could really benefit from effective prescribing of beneficial medication. Addiction can involve self-medicating mental illness. If this aspect is not dealt with, relapse is imminent. If medication helps you then use it.
- Routine - This is an element of most recovery programs, however, sometimes a cookie cutter routine doesn't work for everyone. I have always heard the "go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the (fill in the blank)", however, most of those I know with decades of clean time do not limit themselves by following this advice. They follow what works for them . Most groups look at this as "an addict being stubborn"or "unwilling to commit to the program". I believe this is hogwash. Routines should be as unique as the individual. Create a routine that works for you, not one that you have to struggle to keep.
- Making Goals - Creating goals for your recovery is essential to staying on an effective and rewarding path. Sometimes that will conflict with the "one day at a time" mentality of 12-Step programs. This is perfectly fine! You should be looking to achieve things that you want and don't have! You should create milestones and work to better yourself. I have seen this work wonders for many in recovery. Keep your eye on the prize!
- Education - Learn about your condition! Read recovery literature, but don't limit yourself. I read the AA Big Book, The NA Basic Text, and many many other examples of recovery literature. Knowledge is power and I am committing to empower myself with education. There is no single "right way".
- Honesty- This aspect of my program is last on the list, but is probably the most important. I strive to practice rigorous honesty in every interaction in my life. Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not! However, it is a great thing to strive for and it has a very impactful impact on my life and relationships. I have lied and created painful situations to mostly everyone in my life. Although I am unable to take those things back, I can sure practice it now.
Overall, and I can not stress this enough, this is
my recovery program. It's what works
for me. I take suggestions with everything I experience, and I leave behind the things that don't work for me. I got tired of hearing "you're not doing it right".
If you are staying clean and sober then you are doing it right!
I simply wanted to pass on my thoughts and some of the things that I have learned to be effective on my road to recovery. If something different works for you, than I am glad it does! In fact, I would like to hear what works for you, because chances are it could help me or someone else.
