I have just now seen this thread and oh.my.god. I have never read anything like this before! My head is spinning and I hope I understand the details right. Does Spain have family law lawyers that help with divorces and custody? If they do you need one. I am still a little confused about the nanny/wife/you triangle. Did you say your wife told your daughter her first love or date or something was a girl? How old was your daughter when she said that? How old were the kids when you two became three with the nanny? Was your life lying all the time when that happened and if so, what did the nanny think about it? How old is the nanny(your current partner)? What do the police do when they respond when the wife's lover calls and makes false reports? Are there consequences for making false reports? If he jumps in front of a police officer isnt that something he would be arrested for? Did the courts ever look at what your private detective found? Can you appeal the decisions about visitation and other things? I know these are a lot of questions but I am trying to make sense of it all. I dont mean to be judgy or make you feel bad but it just seems like having the nanny-turned- partner in your marriage and then just your partner would be confusing for the kids but also fuel for your wife to lie about. The kids do not know about anything sexual regarding and open marriage do they?