Thanks happyflowergirl, Kiya, McKell, and Pinksoil.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
besides WAY down the road maybe you'll get to a point where you check in every few months (and chat and eat fruit).

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Kiya, I know there will come a day when I just can't afford therapy anymore (I pay 100% out of pocket), so this suggestion of yours sounds pretty darn nice, because it would mean not having to say good-bye permanently to T.

McKell, a good reason to keep going to therapy is learning to stand up to your H and not be afraid he is going to quiz you on your whereabouts. You are a human being and you have a right to go to the store, to a restaurant, to therapy, wherever, without having to justify yourself to your H. You're not a prisoner. The problem is his that he is controlling like that, not yours. Just go to therapy. If he asks, could you tell him, "whenever I tell you where I'm going you give me a hard time, so I'm not going to tell you anymore until you can control your behavior." (Ha, ha, easier said than done, I know.)

Pink, I agree about exploring the self. I would love to do that with my T for life. I don't really think of a bell going off someday when I am "well" as I don't consider myself "unwell." (I think in part that is because my T views his clients from a position of health, rather than pathology, and that outlook has trickled down to me. My past depression, for example, I consider a functional and protective response to stress and abuse.) Somehow after my orange-eating session, that little termination worry reared its head. Its part of the tension of therapy, I guess. When I am working on issues such as protecting my children, custody, etc., it can seem self-indulgent to spend time in therapy just on myself, healing and exploring my ego states, past trauma, patterns of behavior, etc. Yes, I am worth it! But it can seem selfish sometimes when there are forest fires to be put out. As I said to my T recently on the way out the door after a session on a new issue that had reared its head in the preceding week, "it's always something when I come here!" I guess by putting out fires together, we are exploring my self, in a really hands-on, practical way. Other times it's just nice to eat an orange.