My daughter turned 18 last feb. She was a senior in high school. March 23 we woke up to a note that she was leaving and we didnt understand her and she loved us blah blah. i knew which hoodlum she was staying with so we waited 2 days. Then we went to that friend's house and towed her car away (the car that we paid for and LET her drive). 2 more days and we suspended her phone. I went to the mother of the hoodlums she was staying with and begged her to send my daughter home and she wouldnt. She stopped going to school and partied doing god knows what with who knows what. May 13 she showed up on her knees saying the hoodlums kicked her out and she was homeless. (my soul ached to gather her up and tell her it would be ok) but we told her that her bipolar was out of control and she had stopped taking medication. We dropped her at the psyche ER and told her "you are 18 if you want to get well you have to advocate for yourself" Hardest goodbye I have ever had. She went inpatient for 2 weeks and then Rehab because (you guessed it) the hoodlum family allowed and promoted drugs and alcohol so she ended up an addict. Rehab was in Fl for 42 days. Then home to NJ for rehab-sponsored housing then a sober house. She just left the sober house and is crashing here until she gets into a different one. We had to go to therapy as a family to deal with her loss. I felt like my daughter was dead-she popped back up in our lives just as we were getting to the point that we could accept these terrible choices. Now she works at a store and barely has enough of anything. She goes to 12 step meetings. She missed her prom and graduation. They did let her graduate in December but she was very lucky that she had good grades. I have three kids. She was the one who wasn't grateful and felt entitled. And she still sometimes acts entitled. I dont know if we will ever be the same but I can tell you- let your 20 year old go and be a big girl. Do not make it easy for her. No one is supporting you right? She wants to go live off the bf's parents that is her choice. Hopefully she makes all her mistakes while she is young enough to bounce back. Keeping hard boundaries is tough. Kids are tough. Think of all the really good hard lessons that you learned...were they learned easily and without pain?