Hey Bonsaiguy I have 6 years of continuous sobriety so I hope your journey is as fulfilling as mine has been, and I loved this post.
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Originally Posted by BonsaiGuy
[LIST][*]Community - I still will attend various recovery meetings. I choose which meeting to go to by the content and quality of the discussion group. I do not limit myself by picking one organization. This allows me to feel at home with certain groups/ meeting without limiting myself to committing to only one 12-Step program.
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I have done that too. My primary problem was alcohol so I do AA but I am super plugged in to my recovery community and have been to NA meetings as well. [list]
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- Medication/ Mental Health - Most hard-line recovery groups will claim that "you aren't clean if you are on ANY medications- no matter what". I disagree with this entirely and leave that poorly constructed advice far behind me. I believe it is debilitating and does nothing to help with someones recovery, especially those who could really benefit from effective prescribing of beneficial medication. Addiction can involve self-medicating mental illness. If this aspect is not dealt with, relapse is imminent. If medication helps you then use it.
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LET me tell you that nothing, NOTHING makes me more angry than this right here. If you are familiar with recovery literature it says over and over "we are not doctors" and "there are those of us with grave mental disorders who do recover if we have the capacity to be honest". No where in any of the literature does it say no medication, no controlled substances etc. Hell if you go all the way back to 1935 they used to prescribe sedatives to ease withdrawal. I take adderall and I have for like 14 years. My sponsor knows and some close friends know. I just had three surgeries in 1 year and every time I took painkillers for 5 days. We are not put on this earth to suffer or be a martyr. You do not get the AA/NA award of the year for suffering physical or mental pain-and preaching to everyone about it. I cant stand when someone gets on their anti-med high horse blaming "the doctors" for prescribing them medication that they abused. I agree with you wholeheartedly.
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- Routine - This is an element of most recovery programs, however, sometimes a cookie cutter routine doesn't work for everyone. I have always heard the "go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the (fill in the blank)", however, most of those I know with decades of clean time do not limit themselves by following this advice. They follow what works for them . Most groups look at this as "an addict being stubborn"or "unwilling to commit to the program". I believe this is hogwash. Routines should be as unique as the individual. Create a routine that works for you, not one that you have to struggle to keep.
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yes. My morning routine is super rigid, I call myself the sleep nazi with how I solved my insomnia. its probably more rigid than most of those blowhards blabbing about what you quoted above but it worked for me. I do think a sponsor is super important though.
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- Making Goals - Creating goals for your recovery is essential to staying on an effective and rewarding path. Sometimes that will conflict with the "one day at a time" mentality of 12-Step programs. This is perfectly fine! You should be looking to achieve things that you want and don't have! You should create milestones and work to better yourself. I have seen this work wonders for many in recovery. Keep your eye on the prize!
I have to be careful with goals. I have the disease of more sometimes and will have lists and lists of goals. Guess what, they become overwhelming and I procrastinate. So for me, one day at a time works.
- Education - Learn about your condition! Read recovery literature, but don't limit yourself. I read the AA Big Book, The NA Basic Text, and many many other examples of recovery literature. Knowledge is power and I am committing to empower myself with education. There is no single "right way".
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- Honesty- This aspect of my program is last on the list, but is probably the most important. I strive to practice rigorous honesty in every interaction in my life. Am I perfect at this? Absolutely not! However, it is a great thing to strive for and it has a very impactful impact on my life and relationships. I have lied and created painful situations to mostly everyone in my life. Although I am unable to take those things back, I can sure practice it now.
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Yes honesty is one of the big keys to sobriety especially emotional sobriety. I know plenty of people that are clean but have all the defects and personality issues they had while drinking. I do not call this sober. Someone told me once.." You get clean in rehab but you get sober with____"(AA/NA/OA/etc. I believe this is true. Removing the substance means removing the coping tool. Now you have to solve the problems in a healthy way. You want to fill the void with honesty above all else. And its not easy. Lying was so much "safer". Being honest means you are vunerable- which is half the reason I drank!
The only other thing I would add is helping others or service to others. I volunteer and its usually recovery related. i go into the women's prison and run meetings. I give people rides. I have taken women to the hospital. When you are helping others its very hard to be self centered and dwell on your own problems.