Thank you all! Your thoughts are very helpful & i agree: i just needed to hear if i was missing something....

This is the first guy i've been involved with for many years--had a traumatic divorce years ago, then went to university and didn't date at all during that time. I think there are many different kinds of relationships out there now, and i really haven't been good at articulating my boundaries or my definition of "relationship" with him. i've backed away this past month, to give us both more time and space to see where this goes. We can still be friends, but the "friends with benefits" is gonna have to stop!