Well... I'm an older person. So perhaps that makes a difference? But I've fought this battle for many years now. I wish I knew some secret I could share with you on how to cope. You are correct in writing it can be exhausting.

Of course the first line of defense is, I would guess, having someone to talk to on a regular basis, presumably a therapist. (I don't believe one's family & friends can do this on an ongoing basis.) And then, beyond that, I think it's important to find something you love that can give you a reason to go on as well as something to occupy your thoughts. Perhaps this might be a hobby or a cause of some sort. But, at least to my way of thinking, you can't simply stop feeling like you want to end it all. (Don't we wish!) You have to substitute something else. And the only "something else" that is likely to stick, I would think, is something you love.

Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, that talk about suicidal thoughts & how to handle them including a quiz you can take to help you determine your level of risk. The first 2 articles are by DocJohn:

Suicidal? Don't Throw Away Your Shot

Suicidal? What Van Gogh's Life Can Teach You

How to Survive Suicidal Thoughts

Suicide Screening Quiz

Please take care.